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My life this year.
By mikedaddy | November 19, 2007
Lets see, its almost time for the holidays and I really haven’t said much in a while. I guess just the business of day to day life and the fact that I sometimes forget I even have a blog. The darn thing has been around since 2003! Man where has time gone… I’m getting old. Time is going by faster and faster.
I’m sitting here in the garage on the laptop, relaxing with a cold Dogfish Head 60-Minute IPA paired with an excellent full bodied cigar. I’ve been spending time relaxing lately due to a number of reasons.
Since about late March I’ve had a pain in my chest around my breastplate area, it moves day to day, sometimes it’s worse than other days, some days I don’t even notice it. Every day it has been on my mind.. is it heart problems… something aweful… am I going to die?? I went to the doctor when I first noticed this, he ran some test, took some blood. It came back that overall, I’m pretty healthy, my cholesterol, heart rate, blood pressure, blood cell counts were all fine, there should be nothing wrong with me. He gave me some anti-inflammatory medication, told me to change my diet, get more exercise and sent me on my way.
So I cut out fast food. Almost completely, I go from daily lunches at McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Whataburger to bringing my lunch to work, every day. I eat a sandwich on whole grain bread most days, with fruit or wheat pretzels. I started eating breakfast, fruit, nuts, milk, my fiber intake now is probably around 30g a day! I control my portions, I’ve lost only about 10 pounds, but I wouldn’t have said I was that overweight even 10 pounds heavier. I don’t sit as much, I ride my mountain bike when time permits, I keep myself very conscious of my health now.
Months go by, the problem is still there.. Only worse, some nights I get so stressed out about it I lay awake, heart pounding, wondering if I’m having a heart attack. The next day I’m fine, some days even better, I think to myself, well it’s gone, I’m getting better, I don’t need to go back to the doctor.
Two weeks ago I finally go back to the doctor, enough is enough, I’ve done all this stuff to change and yet the problems are still around. The doctor checks me out again, says everything is fine, I seem well. He asks me to fill out some questioners. I tell him fine, anything to find out what this is. The questioners are all about depression, and anxiety. Then it hits me as I’m reading these questions.. Maybe I am depressed, I never noticed sadness, but I do feel some of these symptoms described in the pages in which I’m filling out. No.. I can’t be depressed, I have a good job, no stresses about money, or family life, things are pretty peachy right now, maybe I’m just stuck in this circle of “whats wrong with me”..
The doctor looks over the three surveys…
“Yep. Mild depression, with anxiety and OCD.” he says.
Wow… I mean I never would have thought I would be depressed. He explained to me it may just be stress about health and life, and sometimes with change, the brain can do things to manage. He prescribes some anti-anxiety, anti-depressant to start on and sends me on my way, with a “Let’s see you again in two weeks.”
So it’s been two weeks. My chest pains are gone. My anxiety is gone. I sleep better than I have all year. I’m feeling good about myself. Time to slow life down a bit. Relax a little more. Stop worrying so much about the future. Take it day by day.
Time to start the next chapter in my life. Get back into the things I love to do. Spend more time with friends, and family. Re-connect with old friends I’ve somehow lost touch with. I love you guys, even though we may not talk much anymore, you are all still in my heart.
February 3rd, 2008 at 8:45 am
I love you to M diddy