Life, RantingFebruary 6th, 2011mikedaddy
In my dream she was on the opposite side of a large gravel parking lot.
I could see her standing there. Her hair soft and shining in the sun. She smiled so big while she spoke to someone else, her aura radiated across that parking lot, I felt it in my heart, even if that smile wasn’t for me, it felt like home. I was drawn to her, like a magnetic field, wanting to be closer I began walking, my tears dripping from my cheeks like raindrops from a magnolia leaf. I slipped and fell on the gravel, my leg throbbed with pain. Get up, you can make it, I tell myself. I start again, walking towards her, the distance is increasing. I slip again, hitting the gravel hard. Dirt is on my face now, mixing with tears, and stinging my broken skin. Dust from my fall fills my mouth as I breath in. I look up, she hasn’t changed. She doesn’t even see me. How can she not see me? I call her name and cough as I exhale the earth. She is amazing, laughing and glowing, living her life without me. The distance in that parking lot is growing, was I getting smaller? I dig my fingernails into the dirt to pull myself forward. If I can get closer, maybe she’ll hear me, or see me. She once cared about me so much, if she only saw me here, trying to get to her, maybe she’d feel something again. I just want her to hold me again and tell me everything is alright. I look up from the dirt and she’s gone. I look around the empty lot. I scream her name.
I’m awake. It was just another dream. Another day to get through… in exile.
divorce, dreaming, dreams, exhile, heartbrake, her, hurt, loss, love, Parking lot, separation